I deleted Tiktok today

I open my phone, go to instagram and it's a flood of images. It's overwhelming, overstimulating, and I keep doing it. Not sure if it's because of habit...my phone is never more than a hand grab from me anyway...

So I deleted Tiktok today. Last week it was sold or transferred or something to a USA controlled company and a new agreement was required to continue using it. One where they had you agree to let them track your phones location (not that they weren't doing it anyway) plus they want you to agree that they can collect data about your age, racial and sexual orientation, religious beliefs, mental or physical status, status as a transgender or nonbinary person, your citizenship or immigration status.

Basically they were saying "hey we're collecting all the data to be able to track you and other users so we can keep causing the damage we're currently seeing" 

So I deleted both my accounts. My personal and business. Years of saved videos. Of fun music and sounds. A tool to build my business and I even was able to get my online shop properly linked on Friday so I was planning on selling my products there. But our community is more important. Building it, sustaining it, protecting each other so we ALL feel safe and loved. Not fearing for ourselves and those around us or even those not around us. 

I want this brand to be a tool, for me and anyone who needs it to feel safe, to heal, to feel the joy and freedom that brings both inside our bodies and how we express ourselves through our clothing. Seeing the violence happening currently, while horrifying, doesn't surprise me. This is the response of scared and insecure people grasping to hold on to power over others. We've all seen it happen over and over. 

But I believe this time, while painful and scary, is like a birth. But here are some things I'm doing to help regulate myself while all this is going on:
- lean on my community. And this can look like checking in with friends (in person or virtually)
- making a meal that brings me joy. I made pizza from scratch yesterday and if you want my dough recipe let me know and I'll share it.
- stretching or moving my body. My body holds all, and I know this. So it's important for me to move that energy so it doesn't get stuck. I've had monthly trauma informed yoga with Laura Mohai for the last 5 years to make sure I implement this. 
-get cozy. Wear that comfy pants and top that make me feel warm and safe. Today is a fuzzy black set I bought from Nasty Gal over 6 years ago that says "fuck off" on the top. Make a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Snuggle with a blanket (we have some with literal healing art on it here if you don't already have one you love) and watch something comforting or read a good book. 
- Journal. Get my thoughts on paper and out of my head. 
- Light a candle. To me nothing says I'm safe like a candle. Not sure why, maybe there's something about the warmth of the light, but lighting a candle, especially one that smells amazing and makes my space smell good goes a long way for me.
-calling my senator to tell them to defund ICE. Here's a list of their numbers for every state. This made me feel like I was able to take some of my power back.
- Therapy. I see my therapist every other week. If you need help finding one my brother is looking for clients in PA or OR and he also is able to help you find one if you need one outside of those states!
- Thanking myself and my body for doing the BEST I CAN RIGHT NOW. 

There's no way we can keep going as normal right now and we shouldn't. We can just do our best and help each other along the way to making this world better and safe for everyone.